Elimination

There always comes a time of elimination. The earth sheds each year. The trees and flowers let go of their identity. As the old identity dies, an new identity is born. The body sheds constantly. Some of it happens invisibly, so naturally and silently, that we don't realize it is happening. The heart and the spirit also shed. They shed they the emotions and experiences that we no longer need. They shed the things that stunt our growth. This, too, is an invisible process. Yet because of the energy involved, the emotional energy, we often feel the emotional and spiritual shedding. It feels as if we are dying. We are. Just like the flowers and the trees, we are dying to an old identity. This shedding, or death, is not the end of us. It is the beginning.

Taken from "Yesterday, I Cried" by Iyanla Vanzant

This is so fitting for my day today. When we shed the old and start our new way of life. Our new way of life effects those around us. Most of the time that is positive, but there are times when it is quiet negative. With my immediate family it has been mostly a positive experience with a few growing pains along the way. With my extended family the effects have been mixed. There are folks who are themselves actively in the disease and to accept me and my new way of life is just too painful for them. I hope and pray that someday there will be a relationship there and that they can find the gift of sobriety too. In life you have to learn to take the good with the bad. I am reminded of that tonight as I sit with my family and enjoy each other's company, sharing about our respective days. The phone rings and interrupts the conversation and I'm immediatly drawn into the uglier side of this disease. My 14 year old sponsee is on the phone and she is struggling everyday to stay clean and sober. We went to a meeting tonight and after I dropped her off she got physically assaulted by another member of her family who is in the throws of active addiction. The circle just goes around and around.......but for today I am in a place of peace and serenity in my life and I guess that is all I can hope for everyday.