4 Questions

Now that the drama is over and I'm feeling so much better I had a talk with my bestest friend today. She first asked me about the past two weeks and the things that led me to the slippery slope I found myself on. I listed off a few.....Next she asked me four questions about each situation that I thought I would share. These can become a very valuable tool in the future if I use these four questions. Here's how it goes.....

We took each situation and pulled out the idea or thought behind it that was driving me. Then applied the four questions:

1) Is the thought true?

2) Can I absolutely know it is true?

3) How do I react when I believe the thought?

4) Who would I be without the thought?

With each and everyone I found that I could not say that the thought was absolutely true, there was always an element of doubt. In every situation I found that I was hanging onto a fear and trying to control the situation. In every situation I found that had I have the question and turned it over to God, relying on faith rather than being driven by fear, I could have enjoyed life the past two weeks instead of being filled with worry. The worry was wasted energy spent on trying to control that which i had no control over. Spelled out like this it looked so simple.....don't know why sometimes it is so hard for me to get the simple things in life.

Thanks so much for all the help Mable...you are the bestest!

Letting Go

Today's Thought

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

It's astonishing in this world how things don't turn out at all the way you expect them to!--Agatha Christie

Probably every day of our lives, a plan goes awry. Often we have counted heavily on a particular outcome. We generally assume we have all things under control and know exactly what's best for us, and everyone else as well. But such is not the case. There is a bigger picture than the one we see. The outcome of that picture is out of our hands.

Our vision is limited, and again divinely so. However, we are able to see all that we need to see, today. And more important, if we can trust our inner guidance regarding the events of today, we'll begin to see how each day fills in a shade more of the bigger picture of our lives. In retrospect we can see how all events have contributed, in important ways, to the women we are becoming. Where today's events are leading we can't know, for certain, but we can trust the divine plan.

I will anticipate with faith what lies ahead today. All experiences carry me forward to fulfill my goal in life. I will be alert for the nudge.

This was the perfect reading for me today. The last four days have been all about plans going awry. First my son got sick and now my husband is sick as well. That has added many changes. They were diagnosed with the influenza virus. They have had high fevers and not really able to do much of anything. I have been picking up the slack at home and I worked 8 extra hours at work this week. All of this combined for lots of plans changing. The extra hours and work meant more paperwork than usual and less time to completed it as well. Despite all this I managed to have a wonderful weekend and got all the things I needed to get done completed. I did this by relying on the strength of my Higher Power and doing it one next right thing at a time. This program really works if I only step back and let it.

Letting God

Trusting our Higher Power helps us to let go of controlling thoughts and behaviors. We can't choose what's best for others. Only God can do that. When we let go, we can remember that whatever happens is in God's hands.

Taken from the book: A Moment to Reflect: Letting Go

We may be tempted to judge others, but we can stop ourselves by remembering to trust our Higher Power. We can accept that we don't understand everything and we don't have to. We can let God take over.

"Letting God" means letting go of our judgments. It is not up to us to involve ourselves in others' problems and choices. That's not why we're here. Whatever happens in other people's lives is between them and their Higher Power. We can concentrate on our own lives and responsibilities, our own growth and spirituality. That's enough for each of us to handle.

This is so true for me. My own life and responsiblities, my own spiritual growth is enough for me to handle. There are days when I can barely handle that. I have been told lots of times that God will not give me more than I can handle. The thing is, when I forget to ask for help and lean on that help it is to much. I must also remember that I am not responsible, nor can I control anyine elses feelings, thoughts, beliefs or actions. That is a tough one. I give it to God, but I take it back and it never works. Guess it's a good day if the time between giving it to God and taking it back increases.

Turn It Over

Turn It Over

Controlling Behavior may give us the illusion of security. But we will always be safer in the hands of God than under the rule of self-will. God doesn't make mistakes or lead us into destructive behavior.

People, relationships, and situations do not need us to run them. We only make ourselves and others unhappy by insisting that they do. When we accept our true powerlessness and turn all these things over to our Higher Power, we find they sort themselves out. Even if people don't make the choices we would have them make, we can let go and accept it.

We can remember to ask God to take over everything and to give us the serenity to accept his will. Our true serenity lies in accepting God's will over our own.

Taken from A Moment To Reflect: Letting Go by Veronica Ray

Wow. I had a rough day and then picked up this book and it opened to this page. It was like a shot right between the eyes. My rough day consisted of me being disappointed and feeling sorry for myself. But why?, you may ask. I felt as though I had been let down, wronged....but reality showed me that what was really happening was that I was playing God. I planned the outcome and of course things did not turn out like I planned them. So I had to accept that things will happen in God's time and that is the way that they are suppose to be. Period. What this reading said is totally true.....under my self-rule, when things weren't working as I thought they should I started down the path of self-destructive behaviors. Fortunatly for me I have a Higher Power working in my life. First of all I stopped to wash my hands and my eyes glanced across one of the many notes taped to the bathroom mirror. The note my eyes went to says this, "Rex, this is God and I don't need your help today, but thanks for asking." Then I returned to the chair and opened the book and it opened to this page. Okay I get the message God, if I don't want to be disappointed then I need to recognize that I am merely an actor in the play, not the director.

USCGA

We took our son to see the United States Coast Guard Academy recruiter on Tuesday evening. It was an impresssive presentation for sure. My son is pretty interested in applying for admissions there. I am so torn as a mother. I want him to follow his dreams and it would be a huge honor for him to be accepted there as only about 325 appointments are offered per year. I just don't know if I'm ready for him to go all the way across the country when he graduates from high school. He would have to put in time during the summer doing coast guard things that are really quiet cool, but would only get to come home about 40 days a year. When my daughter left for school she went to a top rated division I school and lived on campus but it was in our home town and she could pop by the house anytime she wanted. So she moved out and is living on her own but we get to see alot of her. My son moving from Washington state to Conneticut would be a huge transition. I have to learn to put all this in God's hands and trust that it will be okay. I am concentrating on the basics in my program right now and those principles will certainly come on handy when my son makes his decision. I could chose to influence him positively or negatively.....put if I place the outcome in God's hands I have nothing to fear. Easier said than done, but that is my prayer for today. I must remember that our children are only here for a little while and they too must walk their own journey. It is his journey alone....and with God's help he will be successful in whatever endeavor he choses to pursue.....God's will be done.

Mountains or Molehills?

Today's thought is:

We can stop making mountains out of molehills.
Learning to let go of the choices other people make takes away much of the angst we have grown accustomed to. Letting go of the outcome of all experiences, even those that involve us, frees our minds from the needless worry that keeps us stuck. The more we focus on a problem, our own or someone else's, the bigger it gets.

Why do we worry so much? For some of us, it has become a habit. Lucky for us, by sharing the Twelve Step journey we can learn how not to worry. The solution is to have faith that our Higher Power will take care of us. And the others in our lives have their Higher Power to care for them. Learning to give up our old ways of "doing" life unburdens us profoundly. The time we'll gain will allow us to do what we really need to do.

My perspective today will be healthy. I'll let go and let God.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

This is so true. When I remember to rely on my faith and to trust that I will be taken care of, just like I always have been I can get through anything. This program has taught me that my HP never abandons me, rather I fail to listen to his words or grab his outstretched hand. When I remember to stay in the moment and be where my hands are I tend to remember to reach for that hand. So everyday I try to stay in the moment and remember that the hand is always there when I stumble. All I have to do is reach for it.

Willingness

When all is said and done, willingness is everything. --Frank D.

Most of us adult children know very well that recovery doesn't happen, nor is there any positive growth, unless we are first of all willing.

Sometimes we get confused over the difference between willing and wanting. We don't have to want, let alone enjoy, doing what needs to be done. Not wanting to do something is altogether different from not being willing to do it. As one recovering woman said, "Everything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it." The bottom line is that she did let go no matter how badly she wanted to hang on; she was willing.

Think of the people in the program we most admire, those whose progress seems so speedy compared to ours. They may very well not enjoy going out to meetings. They may find it uncomfortable to meet with their sponsors or to say kind words when they really want to complain. They may wish they didn't have to make amends to certain people. But druthers aren't the point. The point is that they are willing to do what it takes.

Today, I ask God to help me deepen my willingness to grow and to see the difference between what I want and what I will.

It's almost time for me to go home and get back to life on life's terms. It has been a much needed break from the world to come here to the safety of my Anna Poo's hideaway. Return to life I must. I have to come the place in my journey where only rigorous honesty with myself and my program is gonna keep me sober. It is something I have struggled with. I have relapsed over it once and it is not a place I want to go again. So my prayer is for the willingness to be rigoroursly honest. That simple act of praying for willingness worked on step 3 so I have faith it will work with this as well if I only just give it a try. Thanks to Anna for all that you've given me, even though you have so much uncertainty in your own life right now. Just a place to escape to now and than means the world to me and I know I'm safe here. Thanks to all of you for all the support. I couldn't make it without AA and you folks.

Letting Go

My Dear Child:
I know that you have issues with trust, and it's often difficult for you to believe in me.

So it may seem hard for you to accept my unconditional love and the idea that I am indeed concerned with every aspect of your life. You are in this place because I brought you here. Be open to what I have to tell you, show you and give you.

Your disease helped you cope with your life before. It made it tolerable, but now its time to let go of the ways of the past. I have such big plans for you! Trust that these plans are good. I did not bring you this far to let you fail. You are at the edge of the cliff, and I keep calling for you to step off. You shout, "I'll fall" but I am telling you, you'll fly and soar like an eagle.

You are stronger than you know. I will empower you if you ask me. I will help you make all the difficult decisions and keep the committment. I will put people in your life to help you. I will never allow you to be tempted beyond your ability to resist, or even ask anything of you that I haven't already empowered you to do.

Those inner yearnings you have are also my desires for you, for peace, prosperity, love, and recovery. I want you to have all of them.

Love, Your Higher Power

I am at the jumping off place. I am trusting that I am here because you have brought me here. Therefore, I will have the strength to endure and in the end I will soar. Though I cannot see it, I am counting on your words and pray that you bring me to that place that is good, where I will live in peace, prosperity, love and recovery.

Forgiving Others

Even when the resentment fades away, a tinge of bitterness remains that colors the way we view ourselves and the world. We either live life as a contest - me against everyone else - or see ourselves as victims. When we allow what happens to us to define who we are, then we give up our freedom to evolve and grow. Feelings of powerlessness or thoughts of revenge make us rigid and imprison us as surely as the defenses we build to avoid being hurt further.

But who are we protecting?

Before we can think about
forgiving the harm others have
done us and letting go of
resentment, we first have
to find out who has been harmed.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-i Bastis

When I let go of my rensentments and realize that I'm only a vicitm if I chose to be. However that leaves a void that I must learn to fill. If I'm not a victim and if I'm not in the "me against them" mode then what am I to be? This is the place where I have to learn that loving-kindness. The place where I learn to turn negative energy into positve energy. Where I learn to extend my hand and let others know that I wish for you the same happiness that I want in my life. Easier said than done, but certainly something to work towards.