Turn It Over

Turn It Over

Controlling Behavior may give us the illusion of security. But we will always be safer in the hands of God than under the rule of self-will. God doesn't make mistakes or lead us into destructive behavior.

People, relationships, and situations do not need us to run them. We only make ourselves and others unhappy by insisting that they do. When we accept our true powerlessness and turn all these things over to our Higher Power, we find they sort themselves out. Even if people don't make the choices we would have them make, we can let go and accept it.

We can remember to ask God to take over everything and to give us the serenity to accept his will. Our true serenity lies in accepting God's will over our own.

Taken from A Moment To Reflect: Letting Go by Veronica Ray

Wow. I had a rough day and then picked up this book and it opened to this page. It was like a shot right between the eyes. My rough day consisted of me being disappointed and feeling sorry for myself. But why?, you may ask. I felt as though I had been let down, wronged....but reality showed me that what was really happening was that I was playing God. I planned the outcome and of course things did not turn out like I planned them. So I had to accept that things will happen in God's time and that is the way that they are suppose to be. Period. What this reading said is totally true.....under my self-rule, when things weren't working as I thought they should I started down the path of self-destructive behaviors. Fortunatly for me I have a Higher Power working in my life. First of all I stopped to wash my hands and my eyes glanced across one of the many notes taped to the bathroom mirror. The note my eyes went to says this, "Rex, this is God and I don't need your help today, but thanks for asking." Then I returned to the chair and opened the book and it opened to this page. Okay I get the message God, if I don't want to be disappointed then I need to recognize that I am merely an actor in the play, not the director.

Stop Fighting Yourself

Today's Thought

You are reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours).

A.A. Thought for the Day
I have got rid of most of my inner conflicts. I was always at war with myself. I was doing things that I did not want to do. I was waking up in strange places and wondering how I got there. I was full of recklessness when I was drunk and full of remorse when I was sober. My life didn't make sense. It was full of broken resolves and frustrated hopes and plans. I was getting nowhere fast. No wonder my nerves were all shot. I was bumping up against a blank wall and I was dizzy from it. A.A. taught me how to get organized and to stop fighting against myself. Have I got rid of inner conflicts?

Meditation for the Day
"When two or three are gathered together in My name, there am I in the midst of them." The spirit of God comes upon His followers when they are all together at one time, in one place, and with one accord. When two or three consecrated souls are together at a meeting place, the spirit of God is there to help and guide them. Where any sincere group of people are together, reverently seeking the help of God, His power and His spirit are there to inspire them.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be in accord with the members of my group. I pray that I may feel the strength of a consecrated group.

This is so true for me anyway. I spent many years fighting myself. I have spent a good deal of the last week fighting myself. Things never work out when I'm doing that. I guess I have to be in enough pain before I'm willing to surrender. The amazing thing is this.....after I surrender and things are running smoothly I wonder what the hell tok so long. I guess if I keep doing it over and over I can hope that the time between when I begin the fight and when I surrender will get shorter. I have been told over and over that with whatever challenge I have to face in this life, I will be given the strength to endure. All I have to do is ask for it and use it. It is time to surrender and accept help from my Higher Power.

Hope

Today's Thought

You are reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours).

A.A. Thought for the Day

I have hope. That magic thing that I had lost or misplaced. The future looks dark no more. I do not even look at it, except when necessary to make plans. I try to let the future take care of itself. The future will be made up of todays and todays, stretching out as short as now and as long as eternity. Hope is justified by many right nows, by the rightness of the present. Nothing can happen to me that God does not will for me. I can hope for the best, as long as I have what I have and it is good. Have I hope?

Meditation for the Day

Faith is the messenger that bears your prayers to God. Prayer can be like incense, rising ever higher and higher. The prayer of faith is the prayer of trust that feels the presence of God, which it rises to meet. It can be sure of some response from God. We can say a prayer of thanks to God every day for His grace, which has kept us on the right way and allowed us to start living the good life. So we should pray to God with faith and trust and gratitude.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may feel sure of some response to my prayers. I pray that I may be content with whatever form that response takes.

Mable asked me if I read this today and said she thought of me when she read it. So I took a few minutes out of my busy day and took it in. It is true. I am full of hope today, something I was lacking not so long ago. I have found that voice. Once I quit fighting and surrendered my life it was just there. It has probably been there all along but I wasn't allowing myself to listen. I have worked hard at staying in today and making plans but not planning outcomes. Something is working in my life that wasn't there before and my fear has diminished. I do pray with gratitude, faith and trust these days. I am grateful to the example you have given me to follow too Mable. Thanks so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope with me.

Recovery From Alcoholism Is Contigent

Experience has proven that recovery from Alcoholism is contingent on:

1. Having a sincere desire to stop drinking.
2. Admitting and believing in our innermost hearts that we are powerless over alcohol.
3. Looking upon alcoholism as a fatal and incurable illness involving the body, mind, and spirit.
4. Considering ourselves as patients in AA for treatment.
5. Identifying alcohol as a poison for us rather than a beverage.
6. Making it our business to understand how alcohol affects us.
7. Realizing we are alcoholics.
8. Learning, practicing and having faith in the twelve steps of the AA program.
9. Believing we can arrest our alcoholism, but we can never drink normally again.
10. Gaining a layperson's knowledge of how alcohoism affects our health and well-being.
11. Using knowledge and inderstanding of our illness not only to gain sobriety but to guard against the danger of returning to the drink.
12. Doing this by partially keeping in our minds a mental picture of the unmanageable life alcohol demands from us and our powerlessness over it.

Taken from The Little Red Book For Women

Today was a great day. I have so many things to be grateful for today. It was a very long day today. I was sober today thanks to a power greater than myself and the fellowship and program of AA. Because I was sober I was able to sit with a family all afternoon in the hospital and to provide them with strength and comfort. Because I was sober today I was able to go to work and do a good job there. Because I was sober today I was able to take care of my family. Because I was sober today I was able to be there for a fellow member of the fellowship who had fallen down and gice them a hand to get back up aand try again. Because of the things that have happened in my life I can be there for others who suffer. For all these things and for those who came before me and gave me those things and for my Higher Power I am truly grateful. Tomorrow when I get up I have the opportunity to do all those things again, provided I follow a few simple steps to maintain a spiritual condition that will give me a reprieve from alcoholism.

PS. For all those who are sendong prayers and good wishes.....my Exam was postponed until June 7th.....

Dancing With God

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that,
and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues,
perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender,
willingness, and attentiveness
from one person and
gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G: I thought of God,
followed by "u" and "i".
"God, "u" and "i" dance."
God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head,
I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God as God abides in you.
Dance together with God,
trusting God to lead and
to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and
there is nothing attached.
If God has done anything for you in your life,
please share this message with someone else,
for prayer is one of the best gifts we can receive.
There is no cost but a lots of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another.

And I Hope You Dance!!!!!!!!

Thanks Shannon for passing this on to me. It's a lesson I can relate to. Spend time everyday working on letting god lead the dance.

Surround Me

They say no man's an island
but I tend to disagree
I guess they've never seen my island,

And where it lies at sea
I'm lost inside my memory.
I'm still in disbelief.
If I could paint a picture for you
this is what you'd see

I'm down on my knees
Begging you to rescue me
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me...
Surround me...now

A wounded man sounds desperate
when he's lost all his belief
Can you look into my eyes
and say you won't betray me

We're running out of time
How precious time can be
I'm counting all the moments
of the times you could have helped me

I'm down on my knees
Begging you to rescue me
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me...
Surround me

I'm down on my knees
Begging you to rescue me
Please stop me
Don't let me run
Surround me...
Surround me
Surround me now
by Scott Stapp

This song is how I see my relationship with my Higher Power. It's there and ready to surround me, if I only I would stop running from it everytime I'm afraid. I need to run to my Higher Power instead of from her. She is the mist on the path, surrounding me.

Surrender

Today I will not manage or direct other people's lives, nor will I expect any other human being to fill my inner emptiness. I have the dignity, resources, and responsibility to fulfill my own life just as others have theirs. I will find my own sources of comfort, joy, and peace no matter what others do with their lives and free choices. by Liane Cordes

Acceptance

Here is a Zen Koan:
When you reach the top of a hundred foot pole
how do you move forward?

When you cannot move forward or backward; when you no longer can maintain footing on the tip of the pole; what do you do? The only answer is too surrender. For me it was to learn to accept all sides of myself, both the good and the bad.

taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

I am at that place where I can't go forward and I can't go backwards. My way has landed my butt in this position. Therefore all I have left is to surrender and trust that with the help of my sponsor and my Higher Power I can get through this. I am grateful for the help of my sponsor. My job is too surrender and trust. As Scott Stapp syas in his song Broken.....Fear isn't real.

Anna Sent me this this afternoon too:

February 22

GUIDANCE...

this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however.... haltingly, toward His own likeness and image.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51


As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see that there was a life which, if I could have it, I would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is through the continuing work of the Steps and the life in the Fellowship that I've learned to see that there is truly a better way into which I am being guided. As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust His ways and His plans for the development of His character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow toward His own image and likeness.

Sweet Surrender

Sweet Surrender

So we're ready to take on the world, at least to take the next step. That's when it hits. Or rather we hit it.

The wall.

Suddenly the path that looked so clear, so easy, so laid out in front of us disappears. Just a little glitch, we think. We take another run at it.

It's still there.

Must be me, we think. I'll try a little harder. Get this problem under control. We may mumble a few words to a Higher Power, something about needing help, but essentially we're praying for enough steam to ram into and run through that wall, sometimes chanting the mantra My will be done all the way.

I wish I could tell you there is a way to avoid this wall-banging, head-bumping vortex of chaos, but if there is, I haven't found it.

It's a dirty dust devil of self-will.

Hearing that we're powerless over people, places, and things (such as alcohol and other drugs) and intellectually understanding that concept is one thing. Experiencing powerlessness is another.

I didn't surrender to my powerlessness over alcohol and drugs because I wanted to. I surrendered because I had to, because I was worn out, because I couldn't keep going anymore. I went down hard.

One morning, a friend called to see whether I had solved a problem I was struggling with. "Yup," I said. "I told God last night that whatever happened was okay with me." I was willing to do whatever God wanted. And I meant it.

"Oh that," she said gently. "Sweet surrender."

"Yeah," I said. "It's sweet . . . now."

Surrender. The place that those of us on a spiritual path call home.

Thoughts on Surrender

Today a dear friend asked me if I have truly surrendered to the AA way. Was I really done searching for other ways to fix my problems? I had to ponder that question. It was pointed out that many of the things coming out of my mouth where the result of delusional thinking. What did that mean? I spent many hours reflecting and reading on the subject. The function of surrender in AA is now clear. Life brings me to that place where I can say "I quit. I give up on my headstrong ways. I've learned my lesson." It brings a freedom when I can say "Thy will, not mine, be done."

It occured to me that I have been fighting to hold onto a life of failure. Why have I chosen to be in misery when I can see that there is a life of joy and freedom so long as I surrender? I could come up with not a single answer for that question, other than by holding on to the hurt I could allow myself to stay in that place of self-loathing. I have been given a gift, an opportunity to let go of the pain and to see the beauty that God created in me. I found a pray which I will say tonight and every night until I believe with all that is in me that I am worthy.

"O Lord, do not turn me away, lowly as I am, ashamed! Send upon me the grace of the Holy Spirit : make me worthy to stand before your holy altar!"--- Gregory of Nazianzos

It has been brought to my attention that although the journey began when I first walked into the rooms, the real recovery will begin when I make the decision to "let go" of living my life my way, and turn it over to a power greater than myself. I am ready to do that. My way isn't working and it's time to move forward. It's time to let go of the past and begin the healing process. I was reminded tonight that I've been going about this all wrong, as my intention was to close the door on the past and to never speak of it agian. The Big Book tells me that I will not regret the past nor will I wish to shut the door on it. I pray for the willingness to be in that place where I can see the past as my greatest asset.

I found several quotes that I think really brought the message home for me. I do believe I understand what surrender really means now. I pray for the willingness to surrender for today my will, that Thy will be done. I am putting the shovel down......I'm done digging.....

Surrender
What I had to do was stand on the edge of the unknown,
have faith in the Steps and my teachers in the meetings,
and let go -- step with both feet
into this terrifying new realm of surrender,
and trust that a power greater than myself,
which I was only coming to understand,
would carry me.
If I held back,
trying to keep one foot in the old realm,
I'd fall out of the program.
I had to abandon myself absolutelyto the principles of the new dimension.
c. The AA Grapevine, Inc., March 2005, p. 11

"At one time, the admission thatI was and am an alcoholic meant shame, defeat and failure to me. But in the light of the new understanding that I have found in AA, I am able to interpret that defeat, and that failure, and that shame, as seeds of victory. Because it was only through feeling defeat and feeling failure, the inability to cope with my life and with alcohol, that I was able to surrender and accept the fact that I had this disease, and that I had to learn to live again without alcohol."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 335.

We Surrender To Win.
On the face of it, surrendering does not seem like winning. But it is in AA. Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit “bottom” in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety, which we could never accomplish before.
We must, and we do, surrender to win.

c. 2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, pp. 155-6With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Thank you so very much to my dear friend for loving me enough to be honest with me and help me to see where I really am. Thank you for standing beside me and holding my hand while I jump off the edge of the unknown. You have been a source of experience, strength and hope beyond all measure. The power that I am learning to rely on brought your path across mine for a reason. I now understand that silly saying I've heard in the meetings hundreds of times. "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." Thanks for always asking me the hard questions and bringing me to the edge of the unknown. Your example has show me that it will be okay to jump over the edge......everything will be alright.

I am ready to close my eyes and take that step. I love you with all of my being. I am ready to learn to love myself the same way.