When we think about forgiving ourselves, we are generally forgiving transgressions we have committed against others. The vicitm may forgive us. God may forgive us, but we often don't forgive ourselves.
We are trapped in a cul-de-sac of guilt and shame.
Loving-kindness is the foundation of forgiveness, but sometimes the most difficult person to love unconditionally is yourself. We hold ourselves to impossible standards of perfection, and when we fail to meet them, we feel worthless.
Loving-kindness begins with ourselves.
taken from the Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis
Lately I have been filled with feelings of worthlessness, guilt and shame. The result has been me being stuck in self-pity. This has led to a lot of old behaviors kicking in. That results in my program going backwards not forward. I have been working to push all that is good out of my life, as if I don't deserve it. It's time to start focusing on the solutions in my life and put the ass kicking machine away. I was told by a friend that I'm closest to my HP while I'm in the present. Morbid reflection in the past and all the things I've done wrong is where my ego is. My ego does nothing but destroy those relationships I've worked so hard to build. So for today I will try to remember my "orange!" God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. So Be It.
