Beginning to Forgive: As Much as I Can

For all the harm you have done me, knowinly or unknowingly, I forgive you as much as I can.

Then begin to send loving-kindness to yourself.
May I be safe from harm.
May I be happy and peaceful.
May I be strong and healthy.
May I live life joyfully

Call to mind the person who harmed you and say the forgiveness phrase:
For all the harm you have done me, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive you as much as I can.
As I wish myself to be safe, happy and peaceful, so I wish you well.
May you live your life with ease.

When your tension is eased you can say:
I am willing to forgive you, but not yet.

When you do this meditation, it's important to be compassionate to yourself.....But your intention is vital. Each drop of willingness to forgive erodes the resentment.....Forgiveness is a process and occurs in its own time

Forgive yourself for not being able to forgive
I am willing to forgive you, but not yet.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-i Bastis

I am at this place. I know that I have to go through this stuff in order to heal and move on with life. But that means feeling all those feelings that I spent all this years numbing out from and avoiding. It is everything I can do just to stay in the moment when the feeling come. Every inch of my being wants to run and escape. Doing that will get me no where but the bottom of a bottle and that is a place I really can't go to. So I stay and I survive and I lean on my HP and my fellowship for strength and I know that I will get through this. Thanks to all who are that support. I love ya all.

Breaking the Cycle of Harm

When a perosn verbally assaults you, take a couple of dep breaths. Then silently send the person loving-kindness, by repeating the phrase:

May you be happy and peaceful. I wish you well.

This may seem wimpy and passive, but it is active in a creative way...When negative energy is directed toward us, we can actually transform that energy into a positive force. Loving-kindness is the catalyst. We are not turning the other cheek, asking for more abuse; we are extending our hands in a gesture of understanding. No matter whether the cutting words are deliberate or thoughtless, we simply acknowledge that we all share the same desire to be happy.

It is a form of forgiveness.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

This is such a difficult thing for me to do. Yet I am learning that ultimately I can only control my own actions, words and thought, not anyone elses. I find that if I stay in the positive that my life sure moves a lot better.

Forgiving Ourselves

When we think about forgiving ourselves, we are generally forgiving transgressions we have committed against others. The vicitm may forgive us. God may forgive us, but we often don't forgive ourselves.

We are trapped in a cul-de-sac of guilt and shame.

Loving-kindness is the foundation of forgiveness, but sometimes the most difficult person to love unconditionally is yourself. We hold ourselves to impossible standards of perfection, and when we fail to meet them, we feel worthless.

Loving-kindness begins with ourselves.

taken from the Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

Lately I have been filled with feelings of worthlessness, guilt and shame. The result has been me being stuck in self-pity. This has led to a lot of old behaviors kicking in. That results in my program going backwards not forward. I have been working to push all that is good out of my life, as if I don't deserve it. It's time to start focusing on the solutions in my life and put the ass kicking machine away. I was told by a friend that I'm closest to my HP while I'm in the present. Morbid reflection in the past and all the things I've done wrong is where my ego is. My ego does nothing but destroy those relationships I've worked so hard to build. So for today I will try to remember my "orange!" God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. So Be It.

Befriending Yourself

May I love myself exactly as I am.
May I be happy with things just as they are.
May I love myself exactly as I am.
May I be happy with things just as they are.

Loving-kindness practice is meant to open our hearts, to break through the wall of defenses we have built to protect ourselves from being wounded. It is meant to make us vulnerable, both to our own hurts and the hurts we have inflicted on others. And this softness may lead to regret.

Taken fromHeart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

Heart Centered Life

how I'd like to live--heart centered

Guidelines for a heart centered life

When you love yourself and treat yourself kindly, caring for others comes naturally.

Listen to the sublest inklings from inside yourself. The heart communicates thru nudges, not shouts.

Celebrate your heart traits. Courage, kindness, patience and love all flow from your center.

Give of yourself from a place of genuine love, rather than obligation. Generousity toward others is intrinsic to the heart.

author--Victoria Moran

Befriending Ourselves

It is possible to look at ourselves and see the part of us that is maimed and scruffy and love it.

"May I love myself exactly as I am. May I be happy with things just as they are."

After eight days of practice, my relationship to myself changed for the better and, not coincidentally, my relationship to others changed as well.

taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

Loving-Kindness

Begin by sending loving-kindess to yourself:

May I be safe from harm
May I be free from mental suffering
May I be free from physical suffering
May I live my life joyfully

Visualize family, friends, and send loving-kindness to them:

As I wish myself to be safe from harm, so I wish you to be safe
May you be free from mental suffering
May you be free from physical suffering
May you live your lives joyfully

Then send loving-kindness to those you don't know:
May all beings -
those who I know, those who I've never met
those who are like me, those who differ in race, religion and ethnicity
those who have done good, and those who have done ill -
May you be safe from harm
May you be free from mental suffering
May you be free from physical suffering
May you live your lives joyfully

Taken from "Heart of Forgieveness: A Practical Path To Healing" by Madeline Ko-I Bastis