All is Well

Today's Thought

You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.

Across the fields I can see the radiance of your smile and I know in my heart you are there. But the anguish I am feeling makes the distance so very far to cross.--Deidra Sarault

Looking down the hallway of our lives, we sense many uncomfortable corners. And they are there. But through the discomfort comes the ease of understanding. The security that we long for, we discover has been ours all along. All we needed to do was move into the corner--with trust.

As we stand before any problems, any new task, any unfamiliar environment, dread may overwhelm us. We stand there alone. But the choice available to us now and always is to invite the spirit of God to share the space we're in. In concert with God's Spirit, no problem or task can be greater than our combined abilities to handle it.

Our lives will be eased in direct proportion to our faith that God is there, caring for our every concern, putting before us the experiences we need to grow on. We can let go of our anguish, our doubts and fears. Eternal triumph is ours for the asking.

The smiling faces I encounter today--I will let them assure me that all is well.

Christmas was wonderful. The only thing missing were the folks I wish I lived closer to so that we could celebrate together. I was longing for that, yet I knew that we were together in spirit and we did get to speak via the phone. I knew all was well. We had an awesome dinner and celebrated with family and friends. The best part of the day for me was the true compassion and spirit of my kids, as they each invited a friend who was alone for the holiday to join in our celebration. That was a reassurance to me that a power greater than me had been working in my life all along and I had simply been unaware of it. Despite my lack of presence and parenting during the years I was using they still learned valuable lessons about life and kindness. That could only have come from a power greater than us. It was a late night, infact into the 26th before we retired. The house is not quiet but it is a wonderful noise I hear as the celebrating continues with a room full of 16ish year old boys playing video games downstairs. I have to admit that although there were many struggles and many failures, the year 2006 was a success because there was much progress. The book tells me that it is progress, not perfect that carries me along the road towards happy destiny. I hope those who were not near enough to celebrate with us add an equally good to me as we did on Christmas.

Separateness

Today's thought is:

Separateness

. . . risk creating our own life path.

Sometimes it seems easier to lean on our mate for all decisions and all direction. Then we do not have to risk creating our own life path. Some people think they can avoid that risk by striking a bargain with their mate. They so fully immerse themselves in their mate's identity that they never have to face their own. Some couples unconsciously agree that one partner will do all the thinking and the other will have all the feelings. The result of their bargain blunts the spirit of both people, because neither grasps the challenge to see life through her or his own eyes. When both us know how it feels to walk in the other's shoes but still see our life through our own eyes, we find the greatest personal empowerment and spiritual freedom.

Think of a time when your relationship was stronger because you took the risk to be different.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

This reading hit home for me on some many different levels. My first relationships in my family of origin were very much like this. We were not allowed to have our own identity if it rocked the boat too much so I grew up with a sense of molded myself to the system to make things run smoothly and not stand up and be my own person. When I got married I carried this over into that relationship. I learned very quickly to let him call all the shots and I didn't make a decision on my own until I started drinking. I made decisions but they were all based on trying to keep him happy and the relationship together while continuing my use. When I got sober I was lost. I had all these feelings and emotions to deal with and decisions to make about where my path was going to lead and how to get there. I didn't have a clue how to do anything on my own. It is only in the program of AA and through the guidance of some very special people, most importantly, Mable, that I have begun to make decisions for myself. I am learning that they don't always have to be right and I can learn from them and do it differently next time. The important thing is the action. I can make decisions all day long but I must chose to act on them for there to be any progress. For the first time in my life I am creating my own path. I have stumbled and fallen, but I chose to get up and try again. I have had to ask for help and at times accept the help of an outstretched hand when I didn't want to. I have twisted and turned and stumbled blindly at times. But ultimatley the important thing is that I am learning that I can survive anything put in my path so long as I rely on a Power greater than me and ask for help when I need it, and learn from the wisdom of others and the experiences I encounter. I am free today and with that freedom comes a sense of peace that makes it all worth it.

Two Days

For the rest of my life there are two days
that will never again trouble me.
The first day is yesterday with all it's
blunders and tears, it's follies and defeats.
The other day is tomorrow with it's pitfalls
and threats, it's dangers and mystery.
Until the sun rises again, I have no stake in tomorrow,
for it is still unborn.

by Og Mandino, in The Return of the Ragpicker

I am so grateful that I have learned this lesson. By staying in today life is so manageable. I owe a debt of gratitude to those who have gone before me and shared this lesson with me. By living one day at a time I have found serenity, and I'm happy, joyous and free. I am especially grateful to Mable for the lesson of the orange that I have been able to put into use daily and that I have been able to pass on to others.

The Past

It is human nature to assess what we can do according to what we have done. When I didn't do so well yesterday, I have been afraid of making the same mistake again. At this point in my life, however, I realize that if I don't remember what I did, I cannot do anything differently. If I don't pay attention to the details of my actions, I will do the same thing over and over out of habit. I don't want to do that anymore. If that means that I must search every little corner of my life until I understand what I do that gets me into places I don't want to be.

Taken From "Yesterday, I Cried" by Iyanla Vanzant

This program has taught me to not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I have learned that by fixing the past the future can be so much better. In the beginning of my recovery I could see no use for the past and tried my best to bury it. All that did was bring me more pain. It wasn't until I went back and madepeace with every little thing from the past that I could find a place of happy, joyous and free.