Strength in God

If you are trusting in your own strength, you have every reason to be apprehensive, anxious and fearful. What can you predict or control? What is there in you that can be counted on? What would give you the ability to be aware of all the facets of any problem, and to resolve them in such a way that only good can come of it? What is there in you that gives you the recognition of the right solution, and the guarantee that it will be accomplished?

Of yourself you can do none of these things. To believe that you can is to put your trust where trust is unwarranted, and to justify fear, anxiety, depression, anger and sorrow. Who can put his faith in weakness and feel safe? Yet who can put his faith in strength and feel weak?

God is your safety in every circumstance. His Voice speaks for Him in all situations and in every aspect of all situations, telling you exactly what to do to call upon His strength and His protection. There are no exceptions because God has no exceptions.....

....There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. There is a place in you where nothing is impossible. There is a place in you where the strength of God abides.

ACIM Lesson 47

I was on my way to work today......ranting and raving about all the things I had control over. My bestest friend Anna just listened politely and asked me....have you read the lesson for the day? Of course I had not. I went onto work and took care of the amends that my sponsor suggested I needed to do in order to clean up my side of the street from earlier this week. I did that, which was by no means an easy thing, and has put my job at risk. On the way to meet with my sponsor, I called Anna again to let her know how my morning went. She had grown impatient with me by then and read the lesson of the day to me.....Man did it hit me right square between the eyes. If my strength had been in the my Higher Power this week I wouldn't be in the mess I am in. However, I have taken the action necessary to fix this, I have a plan in place and if I place my strength in my Higher Power now it will be okay. My Ego screamed so loud the last few days and made it nearly impossible for me to take the actions necessary to fix this mess. That is exactly what this reading is talking about.......I can trust in a Power greater than myself.....or I can let fear and ego guide me. Today I chose a Higher Power.

Thanks for all your experience, strength, hope, patience and friendship Mable. I am happy that I can offer so much humor to your day!

But For The Grace of God

Today's Thought

You are reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours)

A.A. Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is "But for the Grace of God." Once we have fully accepted the program we become humble about our achievement. We do not take too much credit for our sobriety. When we see another suffering alcoholic in the throes of alcoholism, we say to ourselves: "But for the grace of God, there go I." We do not forget the kind of people we were. We remember those we left behind us. And we are very grateful to the grace of God, which has given us another chance. Am I truly grateful for the grace of God?

Meditation for the Day

A consciousness of God's presence as One who loves you makes all life different. The consciousness of God's love promotes the opening of your whole being to God. It brings wonderful relief from the cares and worries of our daily lives. Relief brings peace and peace brings contentment. Try to walk in God's love. You will have that peace which passes all understanding and a contentment that no one can take from you. Feel sure of God's unfailing love and care for you and for all His children. There is freedom and serenity in those who walk in God's love, held safe in His loving care.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may walk in God's love. I pray that, as I go, I may feel the spring of God's power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart.

Surgery went well. Thanks so much for all of your prayers. The defect was larger then expected so the OATS procedure could not be done. Instead they did a microfracture. I am working hard a rehab. The pain has been intense but I'm dealing with it fairly well. I have been working hard at being open to my God consciousness and it has definitly helped. I was told that life will hve struggles but that God will give us the necessary strength to get through them and I have certainly found that to be true. By relying on God for my strength and for my motivation I am handling this all very well. I am grateful to my Higher Power, for the fellowship and all the help they have given and for my family and their suppport. The picture shows the completed microfracture.....which is essentially a bunch of hole driven into the end of the bone. As they heal they will grow new bone and cartlidge.

Being a Victim

Being a victim was the unconscious motivation for most, if not all, of Rhonda's actions. It was the thing that motivated Rhonda to do and say the things she knew would have a violent impact and a violent outcome. Violence, abuse, and being hurt had become a pattern in her life. Most people are always loyal to their patterns whether they are conscious of them or not. Most people will behave in ways that will create what they believe will happen.

Taken from "Yesterday, I Cried" by Iyanla Vanzant

I'm so tired of being a victim. I, just like this reading says, create chaos to keep it alive, often without even knowing I'm doing it. I will strive to trust in my Higher Power and to turn the pain over to him. By doing so there is less fear and that makes it possible for me to fully accept that some shitty things happened to me. I had no control over them and could not change the outcome. I can however change my actions and attitudes today. I can let these things continue to control and dominate me or I can turn things over to a Higher Power and work through these things so that they no longer place me in fear. I am experiencing feelings that I never allowed myself to feel in 25 years. They are raw and intense. Today I can recognize that feelings are not facts and that with the help of a Higher Power I will get through these feelings without picking up. By allowing the feelings to surface instead of numbing them out they will lose their power and no longer be as strong or intense. Thanks to a few very dear friends for helping me to see this and thanks to my Higher Power for the strength to endure.

Great Spirit Prayer

Oh Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds
And whose breath gives life to everyone,
Hear me.
I come to you as one of your many children;
I am weak... I am small...I need your wisdom
and your strength.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever
behold the red and purple sunsets.
Make my hands respect the things you have made,
and make my ears sharp so I may hear your voice.
Make me wise, so that I may understand what you
have taught my people and
the lessons you have hidden in each leaf and each rock.
I ask for wisdom and strength,
Not to be superior to my brothers, but to be able
to fight my greatest enemy, myself.
Make me ever ready to come before you with
clean hands and a straight eye,
So as life fades away as a fading sunset,
My spirit may come to you without shame.

Today was a wonderful day. I am finally beginning to relax a bit and today I actually enjoyed life for a while. I was able to spend some time today enjoying some of the beauty my Higher Power left in this world for me to enjoy and it felt good. Vacation was just the thing I needed to get my head back on straight. It has been a slow progresssion, but at least it has progressed some. I am grateful today for the opportunity to experience my Higher Power.

Update

Just got home from the hospital and the news is good and Justin looks great. Justin came through surgery great. The tumor was located in his 12th rib and was very close to the 11th rib so they removed both and put a wire mesh sheild to protect his liver and kidney. The pathology report showed that the tumor itself was actually dead which is the best news. The chemo has been working. So after a few days in the hospital Justin will start the next round of chemo. Thanks do much for all the prayers and good wishes. Justin and his family truly appreciate them all.

Surgery Day

Today is the day Justin has surgery. It is a tough day today. Justin has show us all what a fighter he really is. Despite his weakend condition he has played everygame so far this season, and his batting average thus far show's just how strong he is. I have every confidence that he will fly through this with great success just as he has so far. He has made it through numerous rounds of chemo without complaint. His only complaint thus far has been that he can't finish out the season before surgery. I am so grateful to have Justin in my life because he has shown my what it means to have strength and courage to face all that life has to offer. He has shown me how to live life on life's terms. Most of all he has shown me what it means to face FEAR, because he has Faced Everything And id Recovering. His determination to go to any lengths necessary will carry him across the finish line. My thoughts and prayers are with you buddy. I will be there when you awaken from surgery and give us that smile that says, we will beat this, don't worry. Thanks so much for all the gifts you have given me. I Love ya, Justin

Beginning to Forgive: As Much as I Can

For all the harm you have done me, knowinly or unknowingly, I forgive you as much as I can.

Then begin to send loving-kindness to yourself.
May I be safe from harm.
May I be happy and peaceful.
May I be strong and healthy.
May I live life joyfully

Call to mind the person who harmed you and say the forgiveness phrase:
For all the harm you have done me, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive you as much as I can.
As I wish myself to be safe, happy and peaceful, so I wish you well.
May you live your life with ease.

When your tension is eased you can say:
I am willing to forgive you, but not yet.

When you do this meditation, it's important to be compassionate to yourself.....But your intention is vital. Each drop of willingness to forgive erodes the resentment.....Forgiveness is a process and occurs in its own time

Forgive yourself for not being able to forgive
I am willing to forgive you, but not yet.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-i Bastis

I am at this place. I know that I have to go through this stuff in order to heal and move on with life. But that means feeling all those feelings that I spent all this years numbing out from and avoiding. It is everything I can do just to stay in the moment when the feeling come. Every inch of my being wants to run and escape. Doing that will get me no where but the bottom of a bottle and that is a place I really can't go to. So I stay and I survive and I lean on my HP and my fellowship for strength and I know that I will get through this. Thanks to all who are that support. I love ya all.