"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct out thinking, especially asking that it be diverced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.
In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried for a while. What used to be a hunch or occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumptions in all sorts of absurd actions and as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely on it.
We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pay for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work. You can easily see why......
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
It works - it really does.
We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But this is not all. There is action and more action. "Faith without works is dead.""
Alcoholics Anonymous pp. 86-88
I am at a point in my journey where I am facing a lot of uncertainty and a lot of decisions. That creates a sense of restlessness, irritability and discontentedness. I know what I need to do to alieveate those feelings. The name of the game for me is ACTION. I need to get back to the basics and take action....thinking it and knowing it will get me drunk....doing it can save my life. So for me that means that I'm attending as many meetings as I can fit into my schedule....and concentrating on step 11. Strength and guidance will get me through this time and inorder to use the strength and guidance that is sitting there waiting for me to use I have to do the foot work to go get it. Communication with my Higher Power is the answer. So I'm reading those pages that give me direction and strength (62, 83-88, 417-420, 512-521) and working hard at prayer and meditation. I am also making myself available to my sponsee more often and meeting with my sponsor more often. These are the basic tools I have learned inside the rooms and they always work if I take the action. Everything will work out and I will be okay. Early on it was difficult to understand that. I had to learn that I don't know what "okay" looks like and I don't know what "work out" looks like.....so i leave those things to my Higher Power and trust that even though I may not think so at the moment, the path he leads me on is the one I need to be on. Today I am grateful to be an alcoholic......because I have a program of action to guide me through my day.
Another great tool I learned early on was to write gratitude lists even when I didn't want to cause it would lead me to gratitude....and sure enough it does....so I'm back to writing those everyday and I have faith that those lists will turn into actions because I have also learned that gratitude is an "action" word.
So Today I'm grateful for:
- A kick ass Higher Power
- The rooms of AA
- My kids and husband
- My AA family
- My sponsor Delilah, My Sponsee Lisa, and My bestest friend and mentor Mable
- The unconditional love my dogs give to me
- Snow gently falling all around me
- "Enough" of all that I need
- The ability to walk (even if it is with great pain)
- A job that allows me to give back so much
- Babies!
- Another chance at life
