Today's Thought
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Staying Open to Our Feelings
Many of us have gotten so good at following the "don't feel" rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery.
"If I was really working a good program, I wouldn't feel angry."
"I don't get angry. I'm a Christian. I forgive and forget."
"I'm not angry. I'm affirming that I'm happy."
These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate we're operating under the "don't feel" rule again.
Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn't harden into resentments. We don't use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions.
Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our Higher Power created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; it's our dysfunctional systems.
We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions won't make feelings go away. If we're angry, it's okay to have that feeling. That's part of how we get and stay healthy.
Today, I will refuse to accept shame from others or myself for feeling my feelings.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Staying Open to Our Feelings
Many of us have gotten so good at following the "don't feel" rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery.
"If I was really working a good program, I wouldn't feel angry."
"I don't get angry. I'm a Christian. I forgive and forget."
"I'm not angry. I'm affirming that I'm happy."
These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate we're operating under the "don't feel" rule again.
Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn't harden into resentments. We don't use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions.
Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our Higher Power created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; it's our dysfunctional systems.
We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions won't make feelings go away. If we're angry, it's okay to have that feeling. That's part of how we get and stay healthy.
Today, I will refuse to accept shame from others or myself for feeling my feelings.
This has been an area of my recovery that has been slow in coming. I still struggle with recognizing feelings and finding appropriate ways of expressing them. This reading was a good reminder for me. Especially the very last line. Today I will not accept shame.....I find myself more often than I prefer slipping into shameful feelings. I have to pause when I recognize that is happening and reasses my boundaries and say a little prayer. I have made progress and that gives me hope. I must remember this program is measured in baby steps, not leaps and bounds.
1 comment:
I like this post a lot. I have a lot of anger I'm still dealing with, and I hate it when people say anger is best left to the non-alcoholics. I never would have made it to the rooms without my anger - I was finally able to turn it onto my disease to help me get well.
I'm still learning how to appropriately express my anger and diffuse it, but it isn't wrong for me to feel it. Thanks for the reminder that I needn't feel ashamed. ~Judith
Post a Comment