Strength in God

If you are trusting in your own strength, you have every reason to be apprehensive, anxious and fearful. What can you predict or control? What is there in you that can be counted on? What would give you the ability to be aware of all the facets of any problem, and to resolve them in such a way that only good can come of it? What is there in you that gives you the recognition of the right solution, and the guarantee that it will be accomplished?

Of yourself you can do none of these things. To believe that you can is to put your trust where trust is unwarranted, and to justify fear, anxiety, depression, anger and sorrow. Who can put his faith in weakness and feel safe? Yet who can put his faith in strength and feel weak?

God is your safety in every circumstance. His Voice speaks for Him in all situations and in every aspect of all situations, telling you exactly what to do to call upon His strength and His protection. There are no exceptions because God has no exceptions.....

....There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. There is a place in you where nothing is impossible. There is a place in you where the strength of God abides.

ACIM Lesson 47

I was on my way to work today......ranting and raving about all the things I had control over. My bestest friend Anna just listened politely and asked me....have you read the lesson for the day? Of course I had not. I went onto work and took care of the amends that my sponsor suggested I needed to do in order to clean up my side of the street from earlier this week. I did that, which was by no means an easy thing, and has put my job at risk. On the way to meet with my sponsor, I called Anna again to let her know how my morning went. She had grown impatient with me by then and read the lesson of the day to me.....Man did it hit me right square between the eyes. If my strength had been in the my Higher Power this week I wouldn't be in the mess I am in. However, I have taken the action necessary to fix this, I have a plan in place and if I place my strength in my Higher Power now it will be okay. My Ego screamed so loud the last few days and made it nearly impossible for me to take the actions necessary to fix this mess. That is exactly what this reading is talking about.......I can trust in a Power greater than myself.....or I can let fear and ego guide me. Today I chose a Higher Power.

Thanks for all your experience, strength, hope, patience and friendship Mable. I am happy that I can offer so much humor to your day!

I Can Be Hurt By Nothing But My Thoughts

When we have fallen into the habit of listening to the ego's critical voice, we will always be dragged down in spirit. The ego thought system that we have decided to join with will always bring us pain in some form. It takes willingness and a mindfulness to change our minds to join with the thoughts of God.

Your Father has given you a gift. It is the gift of Light that is hidden within your mind. Merely choosing to let everything go with your mind and turning all of your desire to allow the Light to come through, will heal all of the thoughts that were hurting you and causing you pain.

The critical thoughts of the ego are used to judge and perceive the sinfulness of everyone and everything including yourself. These thoughts tear down and separate. None of them are true and it is you who allows them to be made up. It is a habit to believe in them. And like all things in the world, your belief in them and your habits can be changed by merely changing your mind about them. The easiest way to do this and the only way in reality, is to turn your attention to the memory of God hidden behind the veils of darkness within your mind. Recognizing that His Light truly exists and can be perceived is the first step in salvation.

Your desire to let everything go that you perceive now, which is forgiveness of the world, in exchange to allow the perception of the Light to illuminate your mind is the gift that will instantly begin to heal all your pain and woes. Practice laying everything down with your mind and only perceive your Father's Light within you. It is by His Grace, His Light, His Gift that all happiness and joy will be instantly restored to you. You need do nothing else but this, let it go and see His Light. The Light brings the gift of knowledge. The Light brings the gift of joy, healing and contentment. It brings a knowing that everything is okay and all is well.

These gifts of the Kingdom are yours to behold and to have right now. The Light reveals the Truth to you that you already are the Kingdom of Heaven. It is your light, your reflection, your sinlessness, your holiness that the Holy Spirit will show you as you allow Him to show you your Light that resides within you. It blazes away shining in eternal glory. O what a beautiful sight to remember and to behold within yourself. What a beautiful gift your Father has given to you, for He has created you pure and holy as Himself.

You are sinless as Himself. In reality, you are Love like Love Itself. Block the vision of His Light and the sound of His Voice no more, for the holy perception that He has given to you will restore the memory of Him at last. His are the gifts that you desire; there is nothing else.

This was given to me by my bestest girl friend. It is exactly what I need to do. I began on a new journey last night to bring light to the thoughts that have been hidden in the dark corners of my mind. I have allowed these thoughts to nearly destroy me and I now have an opportunity to bring light to them so that they no longer can hurt me. This journey will be intense, emotional and difficult. I know that the gift of freedom awaits me on the other side and I am grateful that I have been presented with the opportunity and tools to overcome those things which have hurt me. By keeping an open mind and becoming willing to take the risks and ask for help I am able to get through this. My biggest challenge is remembering that if I rely on my Higher Power I will be able to keep the fear away and heal from those wounds that have cut so deep.

Balance

I got this from Mable and thought I would share it with you all.

"Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few;
that we have been indifferent to the many
so long as none of them gave us trouble;
and as for the remainder -- well, we have really
disliked or hated them.

Although these attitudes are common enough,
we AA's find we need something much better
in order to keep our balance.
We can't stand it if we hate deeply.
The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few,
and can continue to fear or hate anybody,
has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time."
c. 1952AAWS, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 92-3

Now comes the hard part. Being honest about where I am. I had to admit out loud today that I am in relapse. Yah, I haven't picked up a drink or a drug yet, but I might as well have with where my head, my Ego is at. I have know this fact for a while now and have cycled back and forth between denial and acceptance, but have not taken all necessary actions to get myself out of this. Yesterday a very dear friend sat me down and was honest with me. My gut was telling me one thing and my head another. I was praying to God and feeling like I was getting no answer. I listened to my head, I forgot that my best thinking got me a seat in AA, and I made yet another poor choice. It was pointed out to me that the gut feeling, was in fact my Higher Power and I didn't listen. Had I have done that and taken action based on that answer the outcome would have been ver different. The blessing of this program is that I have choices today. I can start over and make this all right and make the choices to get back to where I need to be. I have caused some serious harm to myself and to others, but it doesn't have to be the thing that I chose to drink over unless I want to. So today I made some choices and took some actions that will restore me physically, mentally and spiritually. This will take some time but I can get through this if I place my hope and my life in the care of my Higher Power.

Which brings me to the reading I shared here about balance: I have been blessed beyond mywildest dreams. I have people in this fellowship who are willing to place our very frienship on the line for me and the only thing I can do, the right choice is to acccept that gift, be as honest as I can, and move forward from here. It is what I would want them to do and it is what my Higher Power would want for me. I have been blessed to be loved by one of the most wonderful men in the world. I have done more to destroy that relationship than you can imagine and he is still here. In my lifetime I doubt I can hardly repay all that he has done for me and all that he is to me. Just for Today I can begin a journey that is inclusive instead of exclusive as I have been doing. He was there through all the crap and I have not included him in the struggle, the journey, the peace and the serenity. Twenty-Years ago....Aug. 3, 1985 we made a commitment to honor and to serve, through struggles and joys, health and illness, a journey of growth and love, despite troubles and obstacles. He has lived up to that commitment everyday of his life and I have taken that commitment for granted nearly everyday of my life. With the help and gudiance of my Higher Power I went to him and told him this and made a commitment to live up to this as best as I could for today. My words can hardly mean anything anymore, but my actions speak volumnes. The greatest action I can and did give today is that of honesty.

So long as I follow this path I have nothing to fear. I need to stay in my gut where God speaks to me and to stay out of my head where my Ego struggles to regain control. Most of all I must remain Honest, Open Minded and Willing because this disease is the greatest advesary I have ever faced. It is patient above all and will always be waiting for an opportunity to gain ground.

Connected to Everything

Seek union over separation "Beliefs separate. Loving thoughts unite."-- Paul Ferrini

Our ego focuses on how we are different from the rest of the world. Our soul lives when we experience how we are the same.

Any time you separate yourself from other people or from situations, you know your personality is in control. At such times, shift your perspective to build connection and you will move into soul.As our picture of life becomes larger, more things make sense and we have a greater playing field for life to unfold - naturally."

As a holistic being you shatter the illusion of your separateness and reveal your connection to everything. This empowers you in a way that the ego-driven self could never contemplate."-- Wayne Dyer

Vacation has been relaxing so far. Haven't done much besides catch up on some much needed sleep. Been trying to nurse Anna back to health so we can go do a few things. Hope everyone is enjoying many blessings.

Why Do We Cause Harm?

Meditation:
All evil karma, ever committed by me of old,
On account of my beginningness, greed, anger and ignorance,
Born of my body, mouth and thoughts,
Now I attone for it all.

The three poisons of greed, anger and ignorance
are the root cause of harmful thoughts, words,
and actions. Each of these qualities arise because
we are not comfortable with the way things are.

How can I stop a spiraling descent into fear and violence? Forgiveness is the first step. We see that all of us are capable of acting from greed, anger, and ignorance, and than we forgive the transgressor, not the act.

Just one act of forgiveness can change our whole lives and pervade the whole universe.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madaline Ko-I Bastis