The Twelve Rewards of Sobriety

THE TWELVE REWARDS OF SOBRIETY

o Faith instead of despair.
o Courage instead of fear.
o Hope instead of desperation.
o Peace of mind instead of confusion.
o Real friendships instead of loneliness.
o Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
o Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
o A clean conscious instead of a sense of guilt.
o The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
o A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence.
o The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
o The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

The rewards of sobriety are unimaginable. I never would have believed life could be this good. One of my favorites is the true friendships. I have met some incredible people, all because I made a decision to put the drink down.

Loving Truth

Today's thought is:

Loving Truth

Since it is truth that sets us free - free from our addiction and free from crippling fear - we come to love this truth, even when it hurts. It was mainly our fear that kept us from recognizing the truth about ourselves. We needed help and support from a Higher Power before we could face reality. Now that we are sustained by the AA program, we can devote our time and energy to striving for truth in all that we think, say, and do.

Our devotion to truth may bring us into conflict with those around us. What we need to remember is that we are not responsible for convincing anyone else of what we believe to be true. We are honest about where we are, but we do not expect or demand agreement from anyone else. Since each of us has a different perspective, we can only know the truth as we each understand it. Loving truth means that we acknowledge it to be too big for any one of us to grasp completely.

The truth is something I have been really working on Lately. It has been a struggle because my nature is to lie and cheat whenever possible. Learning a new way is always hard. I have found that for the most part it is true.....the truth sets me free. Being truthful to myself was the first step. Until I could be honest about who I was and what I had done, there was no chance of me being honest with anyone else. Now that I have become honest about myself it is much easier to be honest with others, even when the truth is painful. The challenge lies in being truthful, yet minimizing the hurt and pain that some truths can bring. I imagine it will take a lifetime to master this skill, and I am only a beginner. For today, I can do the next right and truthful thing, thanks to the blessing of the program and all of you.

Independence Day!

Happy 4th everyone. Hope you have a wonderful day filled with many blessings!

Eagles Fly

Sunday morning 9 a.m.
I saw fire in the sky
I felt my heart pound in my chest
I heard an eagle cry

Now I'm alive
I can breathe the air Feel the wind,
smell the earth in the air
I watch an eagle rise above the trees
Project myself into what he sees

Hey- Take me away
Come on and fly me away
Take me up so high
Where eagles fly

I often dream I sail through the sky
I've always wished I could fly
The simple life of a bird on the wing Oh Lord,
I could sing Take me away
Come on fly me away
Lift me up so high
Where eagles fly Oh yeah-

I'm alive,
I breathe the air
Wash the earth from my face
I catch a glimpse of another dream
I turn,
I look but there's no trace

Take me away
Come on,
fly me away I wanna fly away
Pick me up so high
Where eagles fly Oh yeah-

Eagles fly, oh,
take me away Eagles fly, oh,
take me away Come on,
let's fly away where eagles fly Come on,
fly away where eagles fly

A very special person sent me this song by Sammy Hagar. I was struggling through the darkness and losing my will to keep on trudging. She said she wanted me to keep going because someday she wanted me to be free to fly where Eagles fly. I am grateful for that reminder that faith will get me through the darkness and into the light. Someday with the help of a power greater than myself I will soar like an eagle. Today I took a leap of faith. I was fearful and felt like getting up and running the whole time I was there. Yet I drew on the faith that has been passed to me. I was once told by a wise person, that when you come to the edge of all you know, it's okay to jump off and have faith that you will either be given wings with which to fly, or ground will appear beneath you on which to stand. I took a deep breath and I stepped off the edge of all that I know. The earth didn't open up and swallow me, lightening didn't strike, I got through it and everything was okay......I was given wings, just like I was promised. Thank you so much for this gift of hope. You were right, but you are always right......just takes me a while to hear it sometimes.

Who are You?

If you are not your name, your career, your relationship, your possessions or your body, then who is being harmed?

We all trudge through life carrying backpacks filled with preconceptions and judgements. But each time we are able to discard just one preconception, it is like removing a stone from the pack, our steps become lighter, our vision, clearer. The journey becomes a joyful adventure.

As we taste freedom, we begin to realize that there is nobody to be harmed. As the quest continues, we awaken t the truth that there is also nobody harming us.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

When we look at our soul rather than the shell of people we lose our preceptions and judgements. We can truly treat each other as fellow travelers on this journey of life. Each of us equal........no one of us better or worse than any other.

Thoughts on Surrender

Today a dear friend asked me if I have truly surrendered to the AA way. Was I really done searching for other ways to fix my problems? I had to ponder that question. It was pointed out that many of the things coming out of my mouth where the result of delusional thinking. What did that mean? I spent many hours reflecting and reading on the subject. The function of surrender in AA is now clear. Life brings me to that place where I can say "I quit. I give up on my headstrong ways. I've learned my lesson." It brings a freedom when I can say "Thy will, not mine, be done."

It occured to me that I have been fighting to hold onto a life of failure. Why have I chosen to be in misery when I can see that there is a life of joy and freedom so long as I surrender? I could come up with not a single answer for that question, other than by holding on to the hurt I could allow myself to stay in that place of self-loathing. I have been given a gift, an opportunity to let go of the pain and to see the beauty that God created in me. I found a pray which I will say tonight and every night until I believe with all that is in me that I am worthy.

"O Lord, do not turn me away, lowly as I am, ashamed! Send upon me the grace of the Holy Spirit : make me worthy to stand before your holy altar!"--- Gregory of Nazianzos

It has been brought to my attention that although the journey began when I first walked into the rooms, the real recovery will begin when I make the decision to "let go" of living my life my way, and turn it over to a power greater than myself. I am ready to do that. My way isn't working and it's time to move forward. It's time to let go of the past and begin the healing process. I was reminded tonight that I've been going about this all wrong, as my intention was to close the door on the past and to never speak of it agian. The Big Book tells me that I will not regret the past nor will I wish to shut the door on it. I pray for the willingness to be in that place where I can see the past as my greatest asset.

I found several quotes that I think really brought the message home for me. I do believe I understand what surrender really means now. I pray for the willingness to surrender for today my will, that Thy will be done. I am putting the shovel down......I'm done digging.....

Surrender
What I had to do was stand on the edge of the unknown,
have faith in the Steps and my teachers in the meetings,
and let go -- step with both feet
into this terrifying new realm of surrender,
and trust that a power greater than myself,
which I was only coming to understand,
would carry me.
If I held back,
trying to keep one foot in the old realm,
I'd fall out of the program.
I had to abandon myself absolutelyto the principles of the new dimension.
c. The AA Grapevine, Inc., March 2005, p. 11

"At one time, the admission thatI was and am an alcoholic meant shame, defeat and failure to me. But in the light of the new understanding that I have found in AA, I am able to interpret that defeat, and that failure, and that shame, as seeds of victory. Because it was only through feeling defeat and feeling failure, the inability to cope with my life and with alcohol, that I was able to surrender and accept the fact that I had this disease, and that I had to learn to live again without alcohol."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 335.

We Surrender To Win.
On the face of it, surrendering does not seem like winning. But it is in AA. Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit “bottom” in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety, which we could never accomplish before.
We must, and we do, surrender to win.

c. 2003 AAWS, Experience, Strength and Hope, pp. 155-6With permission, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Thank you so very much to my dear friend for loving me enough to be honest with me and help me to see where I really am. Thank you for standing beside me and holding my hand while I jump off the edge of the unknown. You have been a source of experience, strength and hope beyond all measure. The power that I am learning to rely on brought your path across mine for a reason. I now understand that silly saying I've heard in the meetings hundreds of times. "When the student is ready the teacher will appear." Thanks for always asking me the hard questions and bringing me to the edge of the unknown. Your example has show me that it will be okay to jump over the edge......everything will be alright.

I am ready to close my eyes and take that step. I love you with all of my being. I am ready to learn to love myself the same way.