Contentment

Today's Thought

You are reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours).

A.A. Thought for the Day

I have more peace and contentment. Life has fallen into place. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle have found their correct position. Life is whole, all of one piece. I am not cast hither and yon on every wind of circumstance or fancy. I am no longer a dry leaf cast up and away by the breeze. I have found my place of rest, my place where I belong. I am content. I do not vainly wish for things I cannot have. I have "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. " Have I found contentment in A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of God, an inner voice that speaks to our hearts. It is a voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation. It is like a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We can reach out into the darkness and figuratively touch the hand of God. As the Big Book put it: "Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. We can find the Great Reality deep down within us. And when we find it, it changes our whole attitude toward life."

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may follow the leading of the inner voice. I pray that I may not turn a deaf ear to the urging of my conscience.

I read this a few days back and it is still with me so I thought I would share. Exactly one week ago I made a commitment to myself to try to work on my negative thinking and put a positive spin on things. It has been a success. Many of life's little problems have come up throughout the last week. By chnaging my attitude I have been able to see them as merely problems that we all must solve rather then obstacles to my peace and contentment. I am amazed at how well it is working. At the end of the day I have peace and contentment because I see the day as accomplishment rather then piles of negative crap. I am looking forward to another day and more challenges to deal with. I owe thanks to my Higher Power for the strength to do all this and to all of you for the examples of experience, strength and hope. I also want to say a special thanks to mable for helping me to see that the glass is half full rather then half empty.

I Can Be Hurt By Nothing But My Thoughts

When we have fallen into the habit of listening to the ego's critical voice, we will always be dragged down in spirit. The ego thought system that we have decided to join with will always bring us pain in some form. It takes willingness and a mindfulness to change our minds to join with the thoughts of God.

Your Father has given you a gift. It is the gift of Light that is hidden within your mind. Merely choosing to let everything go with your mind and turning all of your desire to allow the Light to come through, will heal all of the thoughts that were hurting you and causing you pain.

The critical thoughts of the ego are used to judge and perceive the sinfulness of everyone and everything including yourself. These thoughts tear down and separate. None of them are true and it is you who allows them to be made up. It is a habit to believe in them. And like all things in the world, your belief in them and your habits can be changed by merely changing your mind about them. The easiest way to do this and the only way in reality, is to turn your attention to the memory of God hidden behind the veils of darkness within your mind. Recognizing that His Light truly exists and can be perceived is the first step in salvation.

Your desire to let everything go that you perceive now, which is forgiveness of the world, in exchange to allow the perception of the Light to illuminate your mind is the gift that will instantly begin to heal all your pain and woes. Practice laying everything down with your mind and only perceive your Father's Light within you. It is by His Grace, His Light, His Gift that all happiness and joy will be instantly restored to you. You need do nothing else but this, let it go and see His Light. The Light brings the gift of knowledge. The Light brings the gift of joy, healing and contentment. It brings a knowing that everything is okay and all is well.

These gifts of the Kingdom are yours to behold and to have right now. The Light reveals the Truth to you that you already are the Kingdom of Heaven. It is your light, your reflection, your sinlessness, your holiness that the Holy Spirit will show you as you allow Him to show you your Light that resides within you. It blazes away shining in eternal glory. O what a beautiful sight to remember and to behold within yourself. What a beautiful gift your Father has given to you, for He has created you pure and holy as Himself.

You are sinless as Himself. In reality, you are Love like Love Itself. Block the vision of His Light and the sound of His Voice no more, for the holy perception that He has given to you will restore the memory of Him at last. His are the gifts that you desire; there is nothing else.

This was given to me by my bestest girl friend. It is exactly what I need to do. I began on a new journey last night to bring light to the thoughts that have been hidden in the dark corners of my mind. I have allowed these thoughts to nearly destroy me and I now have an opportunity to bring light to them so that they no longer can hurt me. This journey will be intense, emotional and difficult. I know that the gift of freedom awaits me on the other side and I am grateful that I have been presented with the opportunity and tools to overcome those things which have hurt me. By keeping an open mind and becoming willing to take the risks and ask for help I am able to get through this. My biggest challenge is remembering that if I rely on my Higher Power I will be able to keep the fear away and heal from those wounds that have cut so deep.

Thoughts

Imprisoned by your thoughts?

“Problems exist only in the human mind.”
-- Anthony de Mello

For most of us, there’s always a long ‘to do’ list. That’s a fact.
And it’s easy to feel victimized. ‘Poor me!’ That’s not a fact – that’s a choice.

Experiment with your life to explore how much your mind is your jailer. Simply let go of the ‘oh woe’ kinds of thoughts. Silence your mind. Be right here, right now. Decide what you will do now and do it, without buying in to the mind’s sob story. When one task is done, you can then choose another.

Allowing the mind to agonize about the size of the ‘to do’ list just makes us tired before we even get started. It doesn’t have to be this way.

“Don't water your weeds.”
-- Harvey Mackay

I so needed to hear this today. I tend to get so caught up in the list of things I need to accomplish that I start planning the outcomes so I can get through the list on the time table that I have established. I have completely forgetten that when my relationship with my Higher Power is right than I am working on his "to do" list not mine. The things will be accomplished on his time table and the outcomes will be as he wishes them to be. When I allow my selfishness to take over all I am doing is building a "resentment" list instead of finishing a "to do" list. A resentment list and my decisions earned me a chair at the AA Table. My way makes my life unmanagable. Time to remember who is really in charge.......(thanks Mable for the reminder of where to look for the answer).

There Is No Escape

We can't escape "Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them."-- Orison Swett Marden

We can’t escape problems and negativity. Escaping just brings denial and suppression - we continue to carry the problem with us. Ironically, it is our lack of acceptance and resistance to the problem that creates the pain. Resistance builds up an energy wall or block that, if not discharged, gets suppressed into the body. These blocks identify places where we have not enough understanding or love. For health, we must work through what we seek to avoid. How do we do this? We can love parts of ourselves that we don’t like. We can seek the lessons we are being invited to learn through the problem. We can examine our beliefs and seek to see different perspectives and a bigger picture. As our perspectives grow, more of life makes sense and has meaning.

"The Lord is a good psychologist: he knows the way our minds run. Turmoil can be the Lord's way of tapping us on the shoulder and saying, 'Don't forget me.'"-- Eknath Easwaran

This is a lesson I'm learning everyday. I spent a long time doing everything I could to escape from problems. I drank, drugged and ran at every opportunity. It worked for a while. Eventually the pain became overwhelming. The turmoil or tapping on my shoulder said it is time to work through the problems and painful memories so that they could be put to rest forever. I have a faith and trust in a Higher Power that was lacking in all those years of running. I know that I will have that power and strength to lean on now. My Higher Power has also brought help in the form of a wonderful husband and supportive friends whom he has chosen to cross my path. I will get through this with their help and support. By accepting the memories they will lose their power over me. My best friend is always reminding me that those things that have power over me, that I now see as my greatest liablilites, will one day soon be my greatest assests. I am longing for that day when I will rest peacefully and recognize those assests. I know what I have to do to get to that place, I have been praying for the willingness to take the steps, and now I am willing to follow through. This year I am beginning that journey, those steps through the past. So far it has been painful, yet rewarding. The one experience from the past that I have worked through has brought me tremendous rewards. I have no doubt that the work I do today and tomorrow will bring equal results. Thank you to those who have held me while I take every step on this journey. Your love and support I can never repay. You have been my friend, my lover, my sister, my support holding me through it all.

Transforming Negative Energy

First we acknowledge that we harbor negative feelings. Instead of ignoring them, we become willing to take them into our inner being and accept them....

we call up our courage to respond in a different manner. We put the focus on ourselves and our feelings instead of the outside forces that have hurt us. We are creating a buffer zone that keeps us from acting out in a damaging way to the perpetrator, or retreating into fantasies and revenge.

The writer Malachy McCourt said, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

We take responsibility for handling our feelings and move on to the next step of transforming the energy We have been harmed once by the harm-doer;

We don't have to victimize ourselves by being held in thrall to our emotions.

When we have been the victims of harm, we isolate ourselves. We tend to curl up into a little ball of self-pity and separate ourselves from others.......there are many people who suffer as we suffer. We reach out to take them and to take in their feelings and send out healing to them. We reunite with the human race.

We are not depleting our energy, because it returns to us a hundred-fold.

Transforming the negative energy within ourselves paves the way to forgive the victimizer.

Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-I Bastis

This hit me very powerfully, especially since this past week has been a lesson in holding on to negative energy until it harmed me and those around me that I love the most. Just ackowledging my feelings is a huge step for me. I am spending time now just sitting with my feelings and ackowledging that they exist. I am slowly feeling so much better since I have made the choice to leave my place of isolation and join the human race.

Cunning, Baffling and Powerful

March 6, 2006, a day which will live in emphamy. At least in my mind anyway. The day started on the wrong foot to begin with. I had a long emotionally exhausting weekend. I had to look at some truths about myself that I didn't like. I hurt some people who are very dear to me. I got very little sleep which didn't help get the day started. I discovered when I got out of the shower that I had missed my denstist appointment, which I totally spaced off because I didn't end the day yesterday like I should have. I got to work and things got even worse. Every single one of my clients was in the middle of some sort of crisis, setback or problem I had to help solve. On top of that the dreaded e-mail arrived today. Not that I had much doubt, but it was confirmed that I had failed my liscensing exam for the third time. By the end of the day I was fairly certain that I would not have a job soon because it is dependent on passing the exam. I was fairly certain I didn't want to be doing this job anyway because it was obvious I was doing any good anyway. This fact was proven me by the clients whom I was certain had failed due to some neglegence on my part. Needless to say, I had a huge case of the "fuck it's" by the end of the day.

At that moment a co-worker, who was struggling and looking for answers, appeared in my office. I totally forgot that last week when life was better I had promised to take her to a meeting tonight. So I said, okay I'll go, must be a God thing. I spent the beginning portion of the meeting going over all the bad things that were happening to me rather than listening to the readings. When the floor was finally open the first share stopped me in my tracks.

The Matriarch had fallen.........

Now the phone call I got last night was making sense. I was so center on myself that I didn't recognize what was happening last night. The matriarch of our group, the sweet lady with 20 years that I could never even imagine drank, was asking all those questions of me for herself not some young sponsee as I had assumed. You see my relapse last summer came in the form of morphine. So all the general questions she was asking me about my relapse were because she had come to the realization that she was in the throws of her diesease. She was powerless over pain medication and her life had become unmanageable.

She, even in a very dark rock bottom place, modeled for me courage and willingness. She came back today and admitted to us all that she had become cavalier in working her program. All the while the disease had been just outside her door, doing push ups, just waiting for the smallest opportunity to kick her ass. A shoulder injury that made it easy to overlook all the warnings and take that one pill that set off a wicked spiral back to the bottom.

Back to me.......I forgot to even share that I failed my exam and that an hour ago I was certain my life was over. I was filled with the greatest of reality and gratitude. In that moment I understood that today I'm a winner because I'm sober. Today everything will be okay because I am not alone, I have a Higher Power whom is working behind the scenes to carry me through days like today, if only I'm willing to accept the help. I also have a family at home that is supporting me and will be there for me not matter what job I have. I have a fellowship, really a larger family, that is willing to take every step on the path with me, if only I'm willing to accept.

The bottom line is this. It matters not how many times I stumble or fall or how many obstacles are in my way. All that matters is that I reach for the hand that is being extended and get up and try again. It matters only that I reach my hand out when the fellow trudging beside me stumbles and falls. Because if I do not rely on my Higher Power and my fellowship, stay sober and take care of myself today, than tomorrow really doesn't matter. If I don't get back up, if I instead pick up and use, than I lose it all anyway. This tells me that it isn't mine to have. If I do my part than a power greater than myself will make sure that my needs are taken care of.

Someone at the meeting said something that really hit home. "I had tons of years and not enough days and that is why I relapsed." That is the truth. Each of us only has today. I have a choice to live today with all the ups and downs it brings me, or I can worry about tomorrow and lose all my todays.