Wednesday, May 09, 2007

The Third Agreement


The Third Agreement is Don't Make Assumptions....

The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth....

We make assumptions about what others are thinking and doing --- then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word....

We make assumptions, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing...

assumptions set us up for suffering....

We make assumptions that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think that others will judge us, victimize us, blame us and abuse us like we do to ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves....

We don't need to justify love; it is either there or it is not. Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them....

The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions....

The day you stop making assumptions you will communicate cleanly and clearly, free of emotional poison....

What really will make the difference is action...

When you transform the dream, magic just happens in your life. What you need comes to you easily because spirit moves freely through you. This is the mastery of intent, the mastery of spirit, the mastery of love, the mastery of gratitude, the mastery of life. This is the goal of the Toltec. This is the path to personal freedom....

Taken from The Four Agreements: A Toltec Wisom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz, pp. 68-74


This agreement will be so very important for me. I am the queen of future trippin'. Staying in the "here and now" will be very important for me. I really like the line love is accpeting of people without trying to change them. I have spent so much time trying to change everyone to fit my world and all I need to do is let those things go and change me. My actions will be the most important thing in the world. Just as a million sorries for drinking fall on deaf hears, but my family notices my choice to be sober everyday, so will other things happen. Time to stop making apologies and start taking action to prevent future harm to others by trying to impose my world on them. What actions have I taken today to accept those around me as they are?

10 comments:

Mama Dukes said...

acceptance is the key

ArahMan7 said...

Somebody told me, altitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventures.

May I asked you some questions if I needed to know about something?

Nael C. Robes said...

In my treatment center, they called them 'expectations'. Don't have expectations on how people will act or how things will play out. Expectations can lead to resentments.

Tabitha.Montgomery said...

If we were real life friends , I would so be on your couch right now needing to share with you over a cup of joe.
I just love your spirit Rex ~

Rex said...

Tab.....couch is always free and the coffee's brewing.....love yours too. Noor....ask away.

dAAve said...

I think assumption lead to expectations. Expectations lead to resentments. And we both know what they say about resentments.

Pammie said...

whoa....that is JUST what I needed to read today. Kinda like going to a meeting, and hearing something meant just for ME.

Sylvia said...

Your posts always provoke me to think about life and examine mine. Thanks

lushgurl said...

I heard once that making assumptions makes an ASS of U and ME... I like to wait for more to be revealed today !
Love and HUGS, Happy Mother's Day Rex

Anonymous said...

Good words.