Co-Dependency and Beyond

Our boundaries and selves develope and emerge as we grow in self-confidence, interact with healthy people, and gain clearer ideas about what's appropiate and what isn't. The more we grow in recovery, the better we'll become at setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries is about learning to take care of ourselves, no matter what happens, where we go, or who we're with. Boundaries emerge from deep decisions about what we believe we deserve and don't deserve. Boundaries emerge from the belief that what we want and need, like and dislike, is important. Boundaries emerge from a deeper sense of our personal rights, especially the right we have to take care of ourselves and to be ourselves.

Boundaries emerge as we learn to value, trust, and listen to ourselves. the goal of having and setting boundaries isn't to build thick walls around ourselves. the purpose is to gain enough security and sense of self to get close to others without the threat of losing ourselves, smothering them, trepassing, or being invaded. Boundaries are the key to loving relationships.

When we have a sense of self, we'll be able to experience closeness and intimacy. We'll be able to play, be creative, and be spontaneous. We'll be be able to love and be loved.

author Unknown...source AA Downunder

This was the topic from a meeting which I attended this past weekend and I really like it so i thought I would share. It is a really good description about the importance of forming healthy boundaries in our recovery. If fact we can't really have an quality of recovery without developing good, healthy boundaries. All of our relationships depend on god boundaries, just as the reading says. This is something I have been working hard on in the last six months ans it feels really good to take care of myself and to value myself enough to have good boundaries.