Property

Today's thought is:

Property Lines

A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belong to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Their choices are their property, not ours. What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with myself, my issues, and my responsibilities.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

A friend sent this to me and it was perfect for me. I need to really look at a certain relationship in my life. The property lines have become very blurred. I am owning things that don't belong to me, as the other party involved is doing the same thing. I have allowed myself to be controlled, manipulated, deceived and mistreated. Rather than learning an appropriate sense of ownership and not taking that which doesn't belong to me, I have done the very same things in return to make myself feel better. It is time to be responsible and give back that which is not mine, as well as, make sure my behaviors are in line with God's will for me.

PS Happy Birthday Mable!