Silence

Silence teaches you many things. It teaches you how to listen and how to hear. It teaches you how to feel and how to translate into words what you are feeling. When you can't translate what you are feeling, silence allows you to go deeper into yourself and find the peace that surpasses understanding. A peace that enables you to move forward, even when you don't inderstand. Most of the time, silence is a good thing. But there are those times and circumstances when silence will kill you. A killing silence can destroy your identity and your spirit. It can kill your heart and your soul. When silence is used as a means of avoiding something you know you must deal with, it will murder your sense of worth. When you use silence to hide the truth, to avoid the truth, or to color the truth, it's the same as saying that the truth doesn't matter. It demonstrates your belief that people who tell the truth don't matter.
But they do.

Taken from "Yesterday I Cried" by Iyanla Vanzant

This is so true and has been a very tough lesson to learn. My whole childhood was full of silence and secrets that left me deeply scarred. As I began recovery I often spoke when I should have been silent and listened, but most damaging to my recovery has been the silence when I should speak. Honesty is a very big part of this program. I always thought that if I omitted facts than I wasn't being untruthful. It took a lot of work and support for me to learn that omission is the greatest untruthfulness because it contributes to being untrustworthy. I'm not perfect by any means, but I have learned that if there are no secrets than you are being honest and honesty leads to trust. Thanks so much to Mable for sticking by my side and helping me to see the dishonesty that I couldn't see.