If you cannot find it in your heart, you can simply express your willingness to relent: "I am willing to forgive you but not yet."
When we feel that we cannot forgive, it is imperative to ask ourselves again, "Who is being harmed?" and return to the truth of the interbeing.
I am you and you are me. There is no separation between us. Each of us harbors the potential for good and evil in our hearts. There is no them, there is only us. That's what frogiveness is about.
Taken from Heart of Forgiveness by Madeline Ko-i Bastis
This is such a difficult thing to do. The big book teaches us that we are all equal. The hard part is remembering that some of us are sicker than others and I must find a way to turn my negative energy into positive energy. I need to find a place in my heart where I can treat all others with the same compassion and care that was giving me when I arrived at the doors totally desperate, broken and filled with hate. The people in the rooms loved me until I could love myself. With spiritual healing I could become the person my HP wills me to be. I owe that very thing to others, for I can't keep it unless I give it away. The individuals who have harmed us the most are the ones that I find are the hardest to extend that compassion and care to. The difficulty lies in the ability to seperate the individual from the harmful action. That is where my struggle lies today. Everyday I wake up and say the words..."I'm willing to forgive you, just not today." I pray that one day I will wake up and be able to say the words without the "just not today" at the end. Until that day arrives I pray for the willingness.
8 comments:
And I just repeated those words to myself over and over. Thanks again Rex.
I see you,
JJ
Rex - part of me is speechless and wants to simply stare at this entry for as long as it takes to sink in, which based on past experience might just be one heck of a long time.
I think I have a lot of work to do in this area. I am also touched deeply by your statement, "The people in the rooms loved me until I could love myself."
That is epitome of what has happened for me - I suppose for anyone who has begun the process of recovery. That really is what the group does... and we are all worthy of that love.
BTW I bought the pussycat dolls CD yesterday and went to buy this book you are using - they didn't have it. (big sad face) so they ordered it for me (big happy face). I can't wait to work with it.
Take care.
forgiveness seems to be one of those fleeting thing a ma bobs in recovery.... I have the most difficulty forgiving myself. I recall my sponsor telling em once that if he saw someone treating me like I treat myself, he's kick their butt.... There endeth the lesson, he he!
That was a wonderful post. I especially like that line....I can't keep it if I don't give it away...there are many things in life like that one being Love.
forgivness, I used to think if I forgave someone, I was giving them the power, or letting them win, or saying what they did was ok... NOT
I love this post thanks for reminding me, I have some forgiving to do
Always love the person and not the action..thats a hard one but I have found it's worth the time and effort. We are all children of God and we all fall short.
Wonderful post!!!!
willingness is a HUGE step in the right directions... I re-read this today... and it hit me again, thanks Rexie... you doin ok?
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