Jesse,
Today is the day you entered the world, four years ago. You were never to take a breath in this world, but you have touched so many lives. I have so much to tell you. First of all I’m so very sorry for not giving you a voice. I have come to the realization that you gave your life so that I might live. That is the ultimate act of love, to give ones life so that another might live. You are strong. I am beginning to understand the strength that you were given. I had so many hopes and dreams for you. I loved you like only a mother could. The disease of alcoholism took away my ability to choose whether or not to drink and use. I know that my using contributed to your death. I’m sorry does not even begin to describe the regret I have in my heart. I cannot change the past. What I can do is tell you that in order to honor your memory and to acknowledge that your life served a great purpose is to pledge to you that I will work to the best of my ability one day at a time to remain sober and work to improve my life and be of service to other.
I want to thank you for the love you have given me. I want to thank you for teaching me what the true meaning of love is. I feel your presence everyday. I can never say I’m sorry enough to replace all the times I have not acknowledged you and given you a voice. What I can do is pledge to you that from this day forward you will have a voice. I will try to the best of my ability to share your strength with all that I come in contact with.
I also want to say thank you for the protection you have provided this family in the last four years. We have all been touched by your protection……you were there the night the scaffolding fell and you protected Steve, you were there the night that Kim was stuck on bad roads and got her home safely, you were there when I was lost in the dark night of the soul and you gave me strength to come out the other side.
I love you forever and always. Sweet dreams little man. Godspeed little man. I will fly to you on angels wings…
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)
Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I Love You
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
God bless mommy and matchbox cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," whatever you are
And I Love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
by Radney Foster
In loving memory of "Our Little Man," Jesse James. Born into this world Feb.14, 2002, never to take a breath, but to touch so many lives.
8 comments:
Happy Birthday (((Jesse))) I happen to know your mother does love you with every breath she takes. Not a day passes that her thoughts are not with you. If it were not for you I would not have such a wonderful friend in my life, I thank you for your gift of love.
I'm speechless...
and what a beautiful tattoo.... *hugs*
Fuck I'm crying.
Powerful
((((Rex))))))
Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Birthday Jesse.
I see you,
JJ
Tears won't stop.
Thank you Rex
I see you ( I know what that means now)
and feel some of your pain for it is also mine.
much love and peace today
hugs
Christine
I felt every word you wrote! I could've written that in 1970 when my one and only child was stillborn to me...a single drunk gal. He was 9 1/2 pounds and died four days before his birth/death. I never had another child, and I still mourn him. March 23rd 1970.
I also feel him as my angel. It took me another 17 years of hard drinking before I quit for good. (I hope)...God willing!
God Bless you Rex, I'll say a prayer for Jesse!
Thanks everyone for your kind words. This was a huge step towards healing and being sober and I could not have made throught the day I thought I had to do it alone......yall mean the world to me....Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope with me.
Rex... wow, I dunno what to say other than thanks for sharing that with us... What a beautiful post. I am truly saddened and sorry for the loss of your son. But, I am moved by the fact that you've chosen to make your loss meaningful. HP is so wonderful, gives us so many wonderful gifts. One of the most precious, is the gift of free wiil, to choose our path, hwo we feel, and so forth...
God Bless and thanks for coming by my blog so I could find yours!
I thought I posted yesterday, maybe it didnt work, but just wanted to come and say hi, and reread this post...
happy valentines day and happy birthday Jesse
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